Anatomy of an Affair by Dave Carder

Author:Dave Carder
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2017-11-18T05:00:00+00:00

Unwrap the Results

Okay, now it is time to take a look at your results together. Sitting side by side, lay your MSTL on the floor in front of you.

• Try to capture your first impressions and share them with each other.

• Look for periods of high-level satisfaction (4 or 5) reported by both of you.

• Talk about any surprises. Ask questions about what your spouse was experiencing during those times.

• Notice the overall pattern. Is it one of similarity? Did the two of you experience the events in a similar pattern? Why or why not? Do you experience these normal ups and downs with the same level of intensity, or is one spouse reporting significantly lower lows and higher highs than the other spouse? Why might that be the case?

• Pay attention to the emotional tone of the relationship. What appears to bring the two of you the greatest satisfaction and pleasure? Has your relationship followed a pattern similar to the one that most couples report? How do you feel about that? Have you both reported upswings in the emotional tone at various times in the marital history, or does the time line reflect a long and gradual deterioration?

• Take a look at the resiliency of your relationship. Has it ever hit bottom and recovered? Did you both experience the bottoming out at about the same level? Did you both recover to the previous high level of satisfaction? Did you recover at about the same pace? Talk about what you did to recover from the low point(s) in your history. If it was more significant for one spouse than the other, find out why.

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